To be or not to be: That is the question

To be or not to be:
         That is the question

This famous quote is from Shakespear's "Hamlet", act three, scene 1.

What is done, is done. Why do I always carry out the role as group leader? Whether by non-consciously or appointed to be. Managing personal works is one thing, but managing other people's works is another totally different kind of things. Ay, depending on the competency level of course, but still, it is not a simple task.

I am not a verbal criticizer nor a pacifist. I sent the message across once and expect to receive comprehension. After all, we all are mature enough to evaluate, right?

But then again, the job is done. Thank you guys.

They say clever people learn from their own mistakes. Wise people, however, learn from other people's mistakes.

Headshrink hour

What now? Err.. Monologue with myself, I think so..

Monologue? Yeah... And you are my second conscious persona...

WOw...Sounds cool.. Any reason to summon me? Nth in particular...

Hmm... Alright... You're leaving me to conduct this session? Haha... you know me...

Zzzz... What a whimsical guy... = = ''' (no comment)

You feeling okay? I guess not... I dunno...

Then you are not okay. Why the depressed look? Huh? You can tell?

Hey, I am you, remember? Alright alright... I'll spill it out... But where to start?

Let's start with, What have you accomplished? Nth...

What makes you say so? Coz my old frens have more accomplishments than me...

How do you know that? Facebook. Duh....

And your new Uni frens? Incomparable... due to my biased point of view...

So you wished you're with your old frens more? It's an unfair question. I missed them as well as I cherish my new frens here. There's no contradiction. I am sure they will answer the same as me.

What are you talking about? I want to accomplish more. Of course with the support of my new frens here. The same goes to my old frens who've accomplished with their new frens' support.

Meaning that you're an underachiever now? Erm... Sort of...

Are you willing to go back to the past? Who doesnt? Undoing the things that I've done and doing things that I have not done.

So that? So that my present will be much better than it already is.

But how about your future? I dunno. I think it is based on my present.

Alright... there are three types of people. First type is the one who wants to live in the past. The second is the one who wants to live in the present. The third is the one who wants to live in the future. Which one is you? Right now I think I am the first type.

But you mentioned " Right now". Which means that you'll be the second or third type right? Yeap.

Are you evaluating this session as a self negativity session? I do not think so. I am more of thinking this as a brainstorming session. Rearranging what is out of place and discovering new stuff (such as priorities)

I think that concludes our session now. Wish you all the best and remember that the best in your life is yet to be discovered. If there's anything else you know how to summon me right? Righty-O

p/s: Will this be edited? Depends. Right now I think it is fine. And I wanna sleep.

Mooncake Festival

Unforgettable celebration night...

はじめまして

こんにちは。私のブログ(Blog) ようこそ。今はじめて日本語　に　ブログを　かいる。私の日本語はあまりじょずじゃありませんが、買いたいです。ですから、みんなの読むまえに 私の”すみません”　を　もらてください。

じゃ、なにか　私　はみんあさん　に　はなしる？ええと、

Simple ride

“Yo” a friendly snub in my side was ensued by a friendly smile. I turned around and it was J. It has been so long since I’ve seen such a face. So sincere and warm. Lately, I’ve only seen stressed faces around me. If yawning is contagious, I wonder if it is the same for stress. Compared to those few faces, I actually felt glad to have seen J.

“Yosh” I gestured back with a smile. “It has been a while”

“Yeah. It is the time of the semester, I think. Busy with assignments and mid terms. Haha” J shrugged.

“By the way, how long have you waited for the bus till now?” J continued.

“Oh… about 15 minutes. 2 sardine-packed Kg E buses just roared past me” I replied.

As soon I said that, an almost empty Kg E bus stopped in front of the bus stop. The “student-magnet” was swarmed with hapless, impatient, sweaty, inconsiderate students. Both of us took no move but to wait for our chance.

“Haha… What a shame… Considering that we’re NOW 3rd year students. And yet we still have to deal with this crap” J quipped.

“Yeah… I couldn’t agree more. But the wait is gonna be worthwhile” I added.

True enough. By the time we boarded the bus, there were 2 empty seats side by side for me and J. Perhaps there’s a divine intervention to reward us for our patience? I couldn’t tell. But one thing that I could tell was that right at the moment I can only think to enjoy the short ride back with J.

Along the ride, we were chatting like there’s no tomorrow. Warm gestures sugarcoated with smiles were exchanged between me and J. The conversation was really, really enjoyable. It was one of the rare moments when you don’t have to hide your face behind a fake smile.

“So, I heard that you are going to do your practical for the whole next semester…” I commented.

“Yeah, for the whole semester” J sighed. But J continued enthusiastically, “But I am sooo looking forward to it. It is gonna be sooo exciting!”

“I am sure you do. I assume you are doing your practical at a private company, right?”

“Mmm!” J nodded.

Before long, the bus finally reached the student drop-off point of Kg E. A glimpse of someone I know from the bus window outside was waiting for J. J smiled and waved to that person.

“Um… I gotta go now…”

“Yeah… I am taking the other way. See ya”. Then I walked away to the opposite direction.

As I walked, my mind was really calm. It was one of the ride that I enjoyed really much even though it didn't last long.

Random Rambling

“Hey! You know what? My friend just texted me that our finals’ result are finally online!” a familiar voice several feet behind me spoke up. The voice sounded enthusiastic about it but not me. Not this time again. I’ve had had this moment few times before. Gosh... I missed the times when I will be anxious and be full of expectations about my exam results…

Looking back at the source of the voice, I can see the excited chattering faces among the likes. I do not want to be involved in that kind of conversation. And so, with heavy footsteps, I left the similar déjà vu scene, grimacing at the invisible emptiness within me…

“What the fuck happened to you? You used to ace these simpletons and not the other way around. They are not even in your league. You can smoke ‘em good”

“I dunno how and what hit me… I guess the aftermath of my biggest pain has got the better of me. Can’t you see? I’ve lost almost everything that I am proud of in my life. Just tell me that I am an utter failure. Spare nothing please”

“Yeah, sure dude. You are just like a shit. Wait, no… You are worse than shit. You are scum. First, take a step back and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE! Whatever thing you are thinking you had better think again or else I’ll massacre you. I WILL FUCK YOU UP! You are fucked up for now. The question left for you is: Are you gonna let those fuckfaces continue to undermine you? Are they even worthy to fuck you up?”

“Based on the current situation, why not? It is FUBAR!”

“Blistering barnacles… You are a total wreck dude. Sober up”

“As if that woul….”

S-M-A-C-K

“Now listen up and listen well. We can go on like this for eternity if you want. I don’t give any shit about your soap opera hocus pocus or whatever you call this mumbo jumbo. I know that deep down inside of you there is this chained wounded falcon struggling to soar up high in the sky. The sky is where it belongs. Fly higher than the lowly prey sparrows and other critters. I am just the gatekeeper. Do you have the key?”

“I guess so… Let’s go dude, we have a prickly mountain ahead of us. Art thou ready?”

“Anytime bro. Let’s rain down our ungodly fucking firestorm upon ‘em. They’ll have to get fucking United Nations to get a fucking binding resolution to keep us from fucking destroying ‘em”

To My Friends Who Are...........SINGLE
Love is like a butterfly,
the more you chase it,
the more it eludes you.
But if you just let it fly,
it will come to you when you least expect it.
Love can make you happy but often it hurts,
but love's only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it.
So take your time and choose the best.

To My Friends Who Are............NOT SO SINGLE
Love isn't about becoming someone else's perfect person.
It's about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

To My Friends Who Are............PLAYBOY/GIRL TYPE
Never say 'I love you' if you don't care.
Never talk about feelings if they aren't there.
Never touch a life if you mean to break a heart.
Never look in the eye when all you do is lie.
The cruelest thing a guy can do to a girl is to let her fall in love
when he doesn't intend to catch her fall and it works both ways.

To My Friends Who Are............MARRIED
Love is not about "it's your fault", but "I'm sorry.",
not "where are you", but "I am right here",
not "how could you", but "I understand",
not "I wish you were", but "I am thankful you are".

To My Friends Who Are............ENGAGED
The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together,
but how good you are for each other.

To My Friends Who Are............HEARTBROKEN
Heartbreaks last as long as you want,
and cut as deep as you allow them to go.
The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks,
but to learn from them.

To My Friends Who Are............NAIVE How to be in love:
Fall but don't stumble,
be consistent but not too persistent,
share and never be unfair,
understand and try not to demand,
and get hurt but never keep the pain.

To My Friends Who Are............POSSESSIVE
It breaks your heart to see the one you love happy with someone else,
but it's more painful to know that the one you love is unhappy with you.

To My Friends Who Are............AFRAID TO CONFESS
Love hurts when you break up with someone,
it hurts even more when someone breaks up with you,
but love hurts the most when the person you love has no idea how you feel.

To My Friends Who Are............STILL HOLDING ON
A sad thing about life is when you meet someone and fall in love,
only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be,
and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn't worth it.
If he isn't worth it now he's not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now.